I Live On Another Planet

So, raise your hand (or leave a comment) if you're familiar with the sweeping sensation that is the "Pirates vs. Ninjas" debate. Because I apparently do not live on Planet Earth, and I had never heard of such a thing. This would not be the first time major situations escaped my watchful notice.

I had noticed that since the "Real Ultimate Ninja" thing someone showed me in college once that ninjas seemed to be more prevalent in popular culture. I've briefly seen that "Ask a Ninja" thing on YouTube, and there's that absurd restaurant in New York where you spend too much money to get served sushi from guys dressed like ninjas. And, apparently, people keep watching "Pirates of the Caribbean" sequels even though you know they're going to suck. So my awareness of pirates was, I suppose, also slightly elevated.

A few days ago, I got another Facebook application invite. Before I get to what it is, I need to digress for a little bit. If you have like more than 6 Facebook applications, you seriously need to think about cutting back on that. Considering that I sit around writing blog entries about "D2: The Mighty Ducks", I ordinarily wouldn't judge what you do with your life. But if you're 25 years old, and you think a good way to spend your free time is to send your friends messages saying that you threw a piece of pizza at them in a fake internet food fight, I would suggest re-evaluating things. I mean, even if you threw a piece of pizza at your friend in real life, it would be dicey and hard for people to accept at your age. What are you doing, wasting good food like that? Or imagine if people still used the telephone, and you called your friend and said, "I have turned you into a zombie." If you're really that bored, you could try reading. They still make books, you know.

Anyways, the application invite I got from Jessie was to join the Ninjas side in the ongoing "Pirates vs. Ninjas" battle. Not being from Planet Earth, I thought to myself, "What the hell is this?" and chalked it up to Jessie having an absurdly slow work day. But when I mentioned it to Ali, I quickly learned that I was living under a rock, as he began explaining how important this debate is to some people (not including himself).

Although I'm late to the game here, I'd be remiss if I used up this many words without offering a personal opinion. It is an awfully capitalist world we live in. Pirates have treasure and gold coins. In a physical fight, they would win because they would be able to buy additional mercenaries to fight. In the metaphorical fight for success in the capitalist world, well, pirates, easily. So sorry Jessie, I couldn't add myself to the Ninjas application on Facebook.

In case you're wondering, I've decided to make this another first-round matchup in the "Who's NOW?" tournament. There's a new poll on the side of the blog. If you're thinking, "Wait a minute, does that mean in the second round it will be your mom versus pirates? That doesn't make any sense at all!" - well, fair point. I haven't really thought this all through.