Today, "Things I Type" brings you, "Things I Wonder", where I express my wonderment at a wide range of topics nobody cares about.
Isn't it a wonder that we so rarely have collisions with little children? I mean, they're running around all over the place, with reckless abandon - they bump into furniture, they trip, they get hurt all the time (though they spring back into "reckless abandon mode" quite quickly). Since most little kids are significantly below my line of sight, I often find myself stopping suddenly and going, "Whoa!" as some Carl Lewis-emulating kid whizzes by mere inches away from my knees. Although I myself bruise like a peach in the knee area, my knee in your face is nonetheless not the best of feelings. But I pretty much never have any collisions with little kids, despite a whole host of close calls. I wonder why that is.
I also wonder why when your plane lands, and it is "taxi-ing"/waiting for an available gate, why they can't just tell you how long it's going to be. I took a flight last week from Salt Lake City to Los Angeles, and after landing on time, we waited 85 minutes to actually get off the plane, as our pilot kept "Chinese restaurant-ing" us with "it'll be about 5-10 minutes". A lot of people get really angry with everyone at the airport - I try to be as sympathetic as possible. Almost everyone who works there isn't responsible for things being crappy, it's just a busted system. So I try to see the airline and the airline employee side of things all the time, but here I can't come up with any logical excuses for them. As we waited and waited, people tried to go use the bathroom, but they kept yelling at them to sit down, even though our plane was stationery at times for over 20 minutes. I really don't get it - the airport knows how many planes are coming, and it knows how many gates it has. I understand not always being allowed to go straight to the gate, but wouldn't it be easy (or honestly, mandatory) to know how many planes are in front of a given plane? And then they could just tell you how long you would be waiting, and let 80-year old guys go to the bathroom rather than risking them wetting their pants?
Isn't it a wonder they still make globes? I think Mike was the one who pointed this out to me - who would actually use a globe today? Other than illustrating that Earth is not flat, what exactly is the point of a globe nowadays? As a child I found the fact that they spin to be incredibly fascinating, but I would think modern technology has blown that one out of the water for today's youth.Hope you've enjoyed this "Things I Wonder" segment. If not, it will never run again. Your voice will be heard, I am a man of the people.
5 comments:
I think you could write a novel on wondering how things work at an airport.
What's the deal with 3 oz bottles of liquid. Couldn't I use multiple 3 oz of the same liquid to get lots of liquid in that one quart bag? With a couple people, I think I could get on almost a gallon. Oh well. I hope terrorists don't read your blog.
Most of us so rarely have collisions with little children, except for Crystal. Just yesterday, she shoved a 7 year old into another 7 year old with full force, because he accidently stepped on her foot. He was about three feet tall.
Reminds me of Simmon's old ramblings. Just don't start sucking like he did.
Wow. Crystal is really mean. Children are our future.
So, when there happens to be collisions with children, are they generally the child's fault or the adult's? For example, I was getting onto the subway at 116th (2nd turnstile from the left), as as I'm crossing over to the downtown side on my right, I ran a kid right over. He was about at the height of my knees, so it was impossible to see him and I must have pushed him a good five feet. When I turned around to look for his mom, it appears that she had gone through the left-most turnstile, while she had allowed the kid to go through the right-most turnstile. Needless to say, I got bitched out by this lady and it's bothered me ever since. I mean, I feel bad for kicking her kid, but seriously - who lets their kid run around in subway turnstiles at 8:00am?
As for airports, during my flight out of JFK last Friday at 9:30pm, I was far from "Chinese-restaurant"-ed. After somebody asked what we were waiting for, the captain came on and said, "we are currently number 40 in line to take off." Truth is depressing.
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