When Kobe left the arena, a bunch of Miami fans high-fived him on the way out. Let's say, for argument's sake, that they know Kobe has the flu. Yet they high-fived him anyways, risking direct hand contact with someone who is very sick. I expressed some surprise to Justin, who pointed out something to the effect of "come on man, it's Kobe", at which point I realized that, in the same situation, I would also give Kobe a high-five, flu be damned. But I wouldn't have risked illness for Luke Walton, or Vladimir Radmanovic, or George Lopez.So it got me thinking - who would I high-five, just for the experience of high-fiving that person, knowing that they had the flu? Let's do a rundown:
Sports Figures
Kobe Bryant - Yes, as mentioned above
Kevin Garnett - Not after a loss, he'd probably hit my hand too hard
Tim Duncan - No, he would probably find some way to make the experience really boring
Bob Costas - Yes
Rafael Nadal - Vamos Rafa!
Terrell Owens - Haha, as much as I dislike him, yes
J.D. Drew - Go fuck off
Mark Cuban - Probably (side note: Min-Taik is friends with someone who used to work for Cuban. Apparently Cuban is a workaholic (sleeps only a couple hours a day) but also expects everyone else to be, and if you work for him and don't work 110 hours a week, he flies into a crazy rage and cusses at you. On second thought, let's change "probably" to "maybe".)
Actors
Denzel Washington - Yes, he's really cool
Jack Nicholson - Yes, ditto
Paul Walker - considering he is the worst mainstream actor Hollywood has ever seen (yes, way worse than Keanu), I'm going to say no
Will Ferrell - Yes
Leonardo DiCaprio - No
Mel Gibson - I'm going with no, his hand probably smells like anti-Semitism. Haha. Nice.
Talented Women
Jessica Alba - Yep
Alessandra Ambrosio - Yep
Adriana Lima - Yep
Eva Longoria - Yep
Angelina Jolie - Yep
Cate Blanchett - Eh, who do I know who would even care. Actually I've seen like 6 of her movies and I'm not confident I could recognize her if she walked to my front door with an Academy Award in her hand.
Miscellaneous
Dane Cook - you know, I still don't even know who this is! I know he was in some kind of grocery store movie, but I don't know anyone who watched that. Is that weird? Does everyone else know who Dane Cook is? Is this guy legitimately famous? Anyways I would never risk getting the flu from this guy.
Justin Timberlake - Yes, but only after "Dick in a Box" - I think before, this would have been a no
Donald Trump - No, but I did kind of enjoy his excessively petty, completely juvenile callout of Rosie O'Donnell. She sucks, and he sucks, but she sucks more.
Howie Mandel - A pretty easy no. What exactly has this guy accomplished? Like, what are his positives? I'm unclear 1) how he became famous 2) if people like him and 3) why people would like him. If I got the flu from Howie Mandel, I'd be pretty bummed.
10 comments:
I have no idea who Dane Cook is, but I totally agree on Donald Trump. It was completely over-the-line but strangely riveting at the same time. I think it's because we all want to say that to Rosie, but we don't have billions of dollars behind us to get it out there.
BTW, did you see the video of racist Rosie to Asian people?
maybe the fans had flu shots
Howie Mandel was on St. Elsewhere for 6 years in the 80's. He also created the animated Bobby's World and voiced Bobby and his father. He had his own talk show. He also did Hidden Howie, a hidden camera show, was on a show called Good Grief. He's been an extremely successful standup since the late 70s. He also created a series of award-winning CD roms for kids. He was the voice of Gizmo in Gremlins and Gremlins 2. etc etc Howie's done a lot of stuff.
howie mandel wouldn't touch your hands anyway. he's a germophobe.
Didn't know about St Elsewhere - that was a pretty big show. Bobby's World was never a particularly big hit despite its somewhat long run. Hidden Howie and his talk show were both horrible and had very short runs. I realize he's had a long career - it's the why that's maybe a bit more mystifying
Excellent points by the way on Howie being a germophobe, and on the flu shots.
To Justin - yeah I saw that video. She's always sucked though, bad Asian jokes or not.
what's with your "talented women" list? being hot is not a talent. the more i watch the video, the less i agree with your alessandra choice. you should bump her off the list for kk.
oh, happy new year.
just like how anonymous said howie mandel wouldnt touch your hands, same for donald trump. hes also a germaphobe. and dane cook is a tool. aside from that grocery store movie that nobody saw, he was also the genious behind waiting and a horrible stand up act where he claims the price is right wheel is filled with blood. tool. tool. tool.
Howie Mandell also hosts Deal or No Deal and does skits for Jay Leno (at least he used to for a while).
I've only seen Dane Cook hosting SNL and doing some standup on Comedy Central, but I thought he was pretty funny.
I agree that being in a state of hotness has nothing to do with talent.
You should get the flu from any celebrity you recognize as the few days of illness are not nearly worth as much as a lifetime of "I got sick from touching Pee Wee Herman" stories.
from dictionary.com:
Talent - Natural endowment or ability of a superior quality.
I think of a talent as something you're born with innately, that you can cultivate through effort, like being a talented basketball player. To be hot, you need to born with certain innate qualities, which you can then cultivate to its maximum appeal. In short, being hot is a talent. It's just not a skill.
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