Summertime

I'm going to take a break from attacking everyone's heroes (firefighters, Cal Ripken Jr.) to discuss something far less substantial: the summer TV lineup. I've been watching a few shows after May sweeps ended, and I can actually tell you that unlike every year since television began existing, this year's summer television programming is awesome. Or what I just said was a total lie. That's possible too.

Top Chef: They've aired a few episodes of Season 3, and it really looks like the caliber of chefs is significantly above least season's debacle. A basic problem of any food-oriented show is that you never get to eat any food yourself, so from a television standpoint, the emphasis has to be on appearances, and how aesthetically pleasing the plates are. Last season had a bunch of cooks who maybe made tasty food, but it looked mediocre onscreen. (It probably tasted mediocre too, but I'm trying to be nice.) As in any competitive reality show, it's a little early to tell, but things are promising.


Real World/Road Rules Challenge Inferno 3: Julius and I might be the only people who watch this preposterously named show, which is winding up next week, but know this - Derrick is on the verge of winning his first Challenge ever, as he enters the final mission with a strongly favored team of Steroid Abe, Kenny, Ev (that's a man), in-shape Tonya, and Janelle. After crushing last-minute losses in Inferno 2, Gauntlet 2, The Duel and Fresh Meat, it appears that Derrick's time may have arrived. In a year when Peyton Manning won a Super Bowl, it would be only fitting for Derrick to finally win a Real World/Road Rules Challenge. 2007 - the year of the loser. Has a nice ring to it.

Last Comic Standing: I tried watching this, and a few jokes made me laugh, but I found it very hard to care. I doubt I'll tune in again, I hate watching the personal lives of comedians anyways, they all think they're tortured souls or something.

On the Lot: Rob told me to start watching this. It wasn't a very good idea. The premise of this (film directors compete American Idol style, filming short films which America votes on) is actually not bad, but the execution is horrible. The studio host is bad, the judges make no sense, and I haven't been altogether impressed with the quality of short films many of these directors are making. It isn't a bad show to TiVo though, because you can FF through all the fluff and just watch the shorts. This would be perfect, except a lot of the shorts are very mediocre.

National Bingo Night: Just kidding....or AM I?? But seriously, no, I don't watch this/know what it is exactly.

Age of Love: Surely you've seen NBC promos for this - former tennis pro Mark Philippoussis, age 30, dates a basket of women in their 40s and a group of women in their 20s. Cougars vs. kittens. (NBC's line, not mine). The premiere was pretty funny, just seeing Philippoussis react to 40-year old women, but this show takes itself sort of seriously (people cry quite a bit), so I think I'm going to stop watching. I do like that when he eliminates a woman, his closing line is "Can I give you a hug?" I love it - I'm going to start saying that whenever I break bad news to anyone. "Oh man, sorry I crashed into your car...can I give you a hug?"

Also, Kornheiser was hating on Philippoussis on PTI, but the guy won 11 ATP tournaments and made two Grand Slam finals. I don't think people grasp just how tough that is to do - I'd say his tennis success is analogous to Stephon Marbury in basketball or Marc Bulger in football. He's no all-time great, but when he was healthy, he could be a real tough opponent. Nonetheless, his presence on this show is ridiculous and has to drop him down a few pegs.

Science of Love: I'm never going to watch this show again, but I urge you to check it out once before it gets cancelled, which could be any day now. Alyssa told me to watch - the premise is insane. A guy chooses one woman on his own (instinct) and a "panel of leading experts in the field of love" chooses a woman (science) for him, and he goes on two dates, and decides if he likes "instinct" or "science" better. I won't get into too many details because this show is so stupid, but suffice it to say, almost every moment of the show made me laugh uncontrollably. I'll spoil one highlight - the team of scientists is trying to engineer scenarios to "make" the guy fall in love, prompting the host to say awesome things like "let's see if science can make love" or "are you ready to make some love?" This shit is gonna get canned real fast, so add it to your TiVo lineup ASAP if interested.