Imperfect Strangers

Mentioning Halle Berry in the previous post got me thinking about her new movie, "Perfect Stranger", which then got me to thinking about strangers, which naturally transitioned into thinking about all the things I don't like about strangers. There's things I don't like, such as seeing someone who looks hot but then they turn around and have a terrible face, but I'm not trying to harp on things people can't control. Although, if you had a little more financial discipline you could save enough money to get some plastic surgery, uglyface. I digress.

People Who Shake Your Hand Way Too Hard
This one was courtesy of Rich, who puts it perfectly: "What are you trying to prove?" Seriously. The fact that you can crush my hand is proof of nothing other than that you're a douchebag. I don't find you any more intimidating just because you decided to make an otherwise forgettable moment awkward. Or, as Rich puts it, again perfectly, "I can still sleep with your wife."

People Who Stand Still On Airport Motorized Walkways

I'm not the first person to complain about this - I think Jerry Seinfeld has a bit about it where he says "you know, it's not a ride." Absolutely agreed - if you're not physically handicapped, you should be walking on the WALKway. If you're totally fine physically but are really that lazy, maybe you should pretend to have suffered a serious injury and get driven through the airport on the airport car/golfcart thing. But don't just block everyone's way standing there. People have flights to catch.

People Who Block Your Way After You Already Made Room For Them

Does this ever happen to you? You're walking one way, and someone else is walking towards you from the opposite end. You seem to be on the same path, so you step one step to the left or right so that the two of you won't bump into each other. But then, that person, well after you've shifted, shifts the SAME way. Sometimes it's as though the universe is telling me not to be polite to strangers, because they're probably idiots anyways.

People Who Visibly Look Like They Smell Bad

Rich said he holds his breath when a stranger like that passes him. I think I subconsciously cringe, raising my shoulders up ever so slightly while scrunching my face and leaning slightly away from the side this person is approaching from. Smelling bad is one thing, but it really only takes an absolute minimum of effort towards hygiene to LOOK like you don't smell bad. If you're not homeless, there's no excuse.

People Who Talk Too Loudly On Cellphone Headsets

First of all, people who talk too loudly on their cellphones are already annoying, but I've long since given up on that and instead fought back/worsened the problem more by also talking loudly on my cellphone. But the people with the Bluetooth headpieces need to calm the fuck down. You can't walk by me, appearing to not be on the phone, and then yell "Hey!" right in my face. That's just really confusing. I can't see that you have a earpiece on the other side of your head, I just think you're trying to talk to me. So cool it with that. Plus a lot of people walking around think you're some insane person talking to yourself, so it's for your own benefit to quiet down a little bit.