Assuming that you are like me (and that is probably the case since you likely think you are awesome and I am, by definition, awesome - yay we are all awesome), you spend a lot of time debating about whether certain celebrities are hot or how hot they are. It's a great activity, a lot of fun, and unites everyone, whatever your different interests or affiliations might be. The only people who get lost in the shuffle are those poor souls who say ridiculous things like, "oh, I don't really know any celebrities" or "yeah, I don't watch tv or movies, so I can't say I know who you're talking about" or "I read books". Talking about how hot you think famous people are incessantly makes the aforementioned feel lonely and excluded, and hopefully that positive peer pressure molds us into one homogeneous whole. An awesome homogeneous whole. Where we are all awesome.
The best moments come when one of your friends thinks someone is hot, and everyone else violently disagrees. There's two moves at this point: you can either back down and say you didn't think that person was THAT hot, you just meant in a certain way in a certain movie from the right angle plus you were trying to be nice and you're kind of hungover who knows what the hell you're talking about. The other move is to stand up, and valiantly defend your opinion of this person's hotness. I have a lot of respect for the stand-up people, misguided as they may be. One of my favorite memories of this was in my senior year of high school, when Ali claimed that Minnie Driver was really hot, and kept asking everyone if they thought she was hot. He must have asked like 70 people, and he got 65 "No way, dude"s and 5 "Who is Minnie Driver? Wait the chick from 'Good Will Hunting'? Wait, you think she's hot? What?" In his defense, he didn't mean that Minnie Driver was the hottest woman on earth, but then again, he did say she was hot and I don't think he was under the influence of any mind-altering chemicals.
I thought about all this yesterday, when Christine gushed about Ryan Seacrest. That's probably not as egregious as Minnie Driver, but it still kind of made my stomach turn. I mean, the guy is orange! Feel free to post your own (or someone else's) worst claims of celebrity hotness in the comment section. I think this has good potential.
The best moments come when one of your friends thinks someone is hot, and everyone else violently disagrees. There's two moves at this point: you can either back down and say you didn't think that person was THAT hot, you just meant in a certain way in a certain movie from the right angle plus you were trying to be nice and you're kind of hungover who knows what the hell you're talking about. The other move is to stand up, and valiantly defend your opinion of this person's hotness. I have a lot of respect for the stand-up people, misguided as they may be. One of my favorite memories of this was in my senior year of high school, when Ali claimed that Minnie Driver was really hot, and kept asking everyone if they thought she was hot. He must have asked like 70 people, and he got 65 "No way, dude"s and 5 "Who is Minnie Driver? Wait the chick from 'Good Will Hunting'? Wait, you think she's hot? What?" In his defense, he didn't mean that Minnie Driver was the hottest woman on earth, but then again, he did say she was hot and I don't think he was under the influence of any mind-altering chemicals.I thought about all this yesterday, when Christine gushed about Ryan Seacrest. That's probably not as egregious as Minnie Driver, but it still kind of made my stomach turn. I mean, the guy is orange! Feel free to post your own (or someone else's) worst claims of celebrity hotness in the comment section. I think this has good potential.
19 comments:
minnie driver was not hot, but she had a distinctive look and character. i can see how she is attractive.
scarlet johansson? whose name i'm spelling wrong... i don't think so, i don't get it, i don't know what you weird guys are talking about.
ryan seacrest is kinda hot.
You could write a whole column about Ali's crushes. Dominique Dawes, Aaliyah, Natalie Portman...I'm sure I'm forgetting a whole bunch.
The fool had a new one every week! haha
And Natalie Portman, I never understood the appeal. I mean, she looks nice...but she's not hot.
Zhang Ziyi is overrated.
She looks good, but are you telling me that she is the best that China, a country of a billion, can offer to the world?
For comparison, India, also a country of a billion, has Aishwarya Rai. Hot damn!
while minnie driver is a classic, i think the absolute worst claim of celbrity hotness i have ever heard was marion jones.
and i must disagree with anonymous over here saying that aaliyah and natalie portman arent that hot. i also dont see it in aishwarya rai. the host of top chef is a much hotter indian.
michelle rodriguez?
speaking of indians, there's this really good indian joint in town that i frequent for the lunch buffets. everytime i go, i always hope they're serving the chicken tikka massala. delicious.
anyways, one day, i noticed that they were serving beef curry. and that was really weird to see, because it is indian-owned, and the waiters are indian, and a number of the clientele are indian, although the majority are not.
it was sorta like walking into a christian bookstore, and seeing a hustler displayed on the magazine rack.
Minnie Driver - interesting but nowhere within shouting range of hot
Ryan Seacrest - he's orange, that shit is gross
Dominique Dawes - admittedly I found her very attractive as well
Aaliyah - ditto
Natalie Portman - I think she's pretty, but I don't sit around thinking about her
Zhang Ziyi - overrated? I guess that's fair
I'd go for Padma Lakshmi well before Aishwarya Rai. She's always too done up. I don't know anyone who thinks Michelle Rodriguez is hot. She might be appealing in that "I always wanted to be owned in prison" kind of way, but not hot. At all.
the thing about michelle rodriguez is, she would be considered good-looking in a roomful of normal girls, but she's always sharing the screen with hot girls. the turn-off is her voice. my god, that is a horrible voice. seriously, i would rather date an overweight girl than a girl with a bad voice. but she does have a great body. and she was quite saucy in lost.
Angelina Jolie usually gets plenty of talk in my group.
I said that Toni Braxton was hot-hot-hot and one of my friends said she was a hag. I still don't get that.
A lot of my college friends, myself included, love Natalie Portman. I think she's more cute than hot though.
My only gay friend always talks about hot guys and says George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey have ugly faces. I don't get that.
jessica alba>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>jessica biel>>>kirsten dunst>>michelle rodriguez>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>hillary swank
I wasn't really maligning Dominique Dawes or Aaliyah, as much as drawing attention to the frequency of Ali's obsessions.
He has been known to exercise good taste when he becomes infatuated, as evidenced by his collection of Tera Patrick and Kira Kener "memorabilia."
i get the feeling that i'm the only girl reading your blog. i'm also probably the only person who is still in school.
george clooney does not have a hot face. he has charm.
kirsten dunst should never, ever be on any hot list.
I just don't understand the appeal of Fergie. Seeing pictures of her make me physically ill.
there really is no reason why kirsten dunst ought to be famous
fergie's face is horrible, but i find her music even worse.
let's remember people, the subject of the blog - someone has to SAY these people are hot - do you know someone who thinks kirsten dunst is hot?
fuck looks like I better defend myself here.
Ok Minnie Driver, still hot but where has she gone?
Natalie Portman, Aaliyah (may she rest in peace), Zhang Ziyi all hot!
Marion Jones and Dominique Dawes = hot for athletes!
Michelle Rodriguez is not hot (she always has the same pissed off look on her face which is by no means hot). Fergie, total butterface.
Btw, I only have Kira Kener memorabilia, and that is one damn good polaroid.
New crushes that I can be judged on: Eva Mendes and Yunjin Kim!
Ali treasures that picture so much, he keeps it under lock and key.
Eva Mendes is weird looking. When she's not smiling she looks OK. But when she smiles, she's down right ugly!
Roselyn Sanchez is so much better.
eva mendes is WAY hotter than rosalyn sanchez.
Look:
Not smiling = hot
http://www.evamendesfan.com/2005/10/evamendes105jpg.html
Smiling with no teeth showing = arguably hot
http://www.evamendesfan.com/2005/10/evamendes104jpg.html
Smiling with no teeth showing = arguably ugly
http://www.evamendesfan.com/2005/10/evamendes108jpg.html
Smiling with teeth showing = ugly
http://imdb.com/gallery/granitz/5502/Events/5502/EvaMendes_Ausse_11684577_400.jpg.html?path=pgallery&path_key=Mendes,%20Eva
I just saw The Island. Scarlett Johansson is hot.
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