I guess I've hit the age where it's not really appropriate for mE tO tYpE liKe tHis, so this seemed like the right time to leave and xanga and move to blogspot. It's a slippery slope folks. Tomorrow I'll be eating sushi with a fork. One day my kids will score a 600 on the math portion of the SAT. I promise to tread carefully.
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Anyways, not everything I wrote before was a complete waste of space, so I'll start this off with a "best of" the old xanga stuff. Since I posted about as often as I went to jury duty, there's not a whole lot of material to choose from. I think my infrequent posting caused my readership to dwindle from 8 to 3. I appreciate those of you who stuck by me during the lean times. They will be no more. I have a lot of thoughts that are now in my head. I will then type those thoughts so you can read them. The plan is foolproof.
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January 23, 2005
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I really don’t see what’s wrong with eating dogs. Everyone seems to think it’s so awful and disgusting, but I’m not on board with this. If people in other countries (or this country for that matter) want to eat dogs, that’s totally fine with me. I don’t eat dogs myself, but that’s because 1) I never had the opportunity and 2) I’ve heard they’re not particularly delicious, so there’s no reason to spend a lot of energy trying to eat dog meat. What is the problem here? Because dogs are cute? First of all, not all dogs are cute, that’s a fact. We’ve all seen some pretty damn ugly slobbering dogs in our lifetime, so don’t be shoving the “all dogs are cute” assumption in my face. You and I both know it’s not true. Is it bad because dogs are our pets? To that I say, no one is eating YOUR dog. The people who eat dogs are eating other dogs, dogs you’ve never seen or met. No one is asking to eat your pet. Calm down. Is it because dogs are man’s best friend? If that’s true, I gotta say, dogs are pretty useless friends. We feed them, we exercise them, we live with their early inability to be potty-trained – and what are getting in return? Some vague sense of affection? If we treated any mammal as well as we treat dogs, we’d probably get that same sort of affection. Look, people. It’s just the way of the world. Species eat other species. We eat other animals, and those animals eat other animals. I happen to think fish are beautiful, but I still eat them, because they are 1) delicious 2) nutritious and 3) available. This is just the way the world works. It shouldn’t be any different for dogs. Those of you hating on dog-eaters need to chill out. It’s really very unfair of you to say that someone else can’t eat something just because you find some other members of its species cute. People who eat dogs, you have my complete support. Eat away.
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ETA: Rob showed me this awesome link that embodies my beliefs on this subject. http://www.petsorfood.com
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October 28, 2004
-In case you didn't get the memo, I'm not too fond of turkey.
-I know the last place finish of turkey is going to shock people, but let’s face it folks. Turkey just sucks. The primary reason most people eat it is because it’s a healthier alternative to other meats, and I’ve already established health will not be critical to the rankings. 
Thanksgiving turkey? Please. The fact that you have to put stuffing in it to give it flavor shows you how much it sucks. If it weren’t for stupid tradition, no one would eat turkey at Thanksgiving, because we all KNOW it’s not a very delicious food. It’s dry, the white meat is tasteless, and did I mention it’s dry? Pilgrims ate it because they didn’t have other meats around. The fact that we continue to, despite the abundance of other meats, is really a shameful mark on our society. It’s a big pain in the ass to cook a whole turkey, and if you still insist Thanksgiving turkey (or the next day’s leftovers) are good, then keep in mind it’s only once a year. Unless you’re one of the foolish people who bother to eat ANOTHER whole turkey at Christmas. I mean, if you’re in that category, I don’t even know what to say to you. On top of everything else, eating turkey MAKES YOU TIRED!!! It actively detracts from the rest of your day! The best turkey can lay claim to is that it’s good for cold sandwiches, and turkey burgers can be good. As for cold sandwiches, turkey can get away with being dry because there is lettuce and tomato. But that doesn’t change the fact that turkey is dry. As for turkey burgers, while I concede they are tasty, the number of people who are allowed to eat beef and would choose a turkey burger over a beef burger (health aside) has to be less than 1 in 10. Maybe less than 1 in 50. Turkey sucks, people. Let’s face facts.
Thanksgiving turkey? Please. The fact that you have to put stuffing in it to give it flavor shows you how much it sucks. If it weren’t for stupid tradition, no one would eat turkey at Thanksgiving, because we all KNOW it’s not a very delicious food. It’s dry, the white meat is tasteless, and did I mention it’s dry? Pilgrims ate it because they didn’t have other meats around. The fact that we continue to, despite the abundance of other meats, is really a shameful mark on our society. It’s a big pain in the ass to cook a whole turkey, and if you still insist Thanksgiving turkey (or the next day’s leftovers) are good, then keep in mind it’s only once a year. Unless you’re one of the foolish people who bother to eat ANOTHER whole turkey at Christmas. I mean, if you’re in that category, I don’t even know what to say to you. On top of everything else, eating turkey MAKES YOU TIRED!!! It actively detracts from the rest of your day! The best turkey can lay claim to is that it’s good for cold sandwiches, and turkey burgers can be good. As for cold sandwiches, turkey can get away with being dry because there is lettuce and tomato. But that doesn’t change the fact that turkey is dry. As for turkey burgers, while I concede they are tasty, the number of people who are allowed to eat beef and would choose a turkey burger over a beef burger (health aside) has to be less than 1 in 10. Maybe less than 1 in 50. Turkey sucks, people. Let’s face facts.
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